The Do’s And Don’t Of The Opening Message On Bumble

Bumble now has pre-made openers to help with writers’ block. I have wondered if every guy only receives, “If you were an ice cream, what flavor would you be?” We used to roll our eyes at the guys who sent the simple, “Hey.” Now that the tables have turned, women have eaten their words. First of all, Bumble is the land of lazy dudes. It’s marketed as men who are “male feminists” who want women to feel empowered. In reality, it is guys who only like to dip his toe in the dating game while he is building his rolodex of lady callers. So… what can we say to a guy to stand out?….

  1. Cater to his interests-

If he is smart, he will include his extracurricular activities in his profile. This can go in a platonic direction or a fun one. I would say to stay away from sports. First of all, he probably knows way too much about it and will start to bore you. Unless you are a hardcore sport girl then go for it, but once those flood gates are open, it’s hard to stop.

  1. Don’t be boring-

Anything that is a greeting or asking about his weekend or work….yawn. It feels like a vague test to force the other person be the interesting one. Usually it ends up with two people saying “how are you?” – “good how are you?” For two weeks straight.

  1. Mention a photo he has –

It’s hard for a man to have pictures of himself that aren’t blurry snapshots or a very formal school pic. His photos are there for a reason. If he has a shot of himself doing a weird thing or if his hair looks different in every pic, then mention it. Asking a simple question such as, what beach did he go to can be a good conversation starter.

  1. Find your own voice – You shouldn’t have a ghost writer for your dating profile. If you did get an opening, you have to keep up the facade.
  2. Be flirty -I matched with a guy who plays Dungeons and Dragons. I said, “So when you say dungeon master…. (Black heart emoji)” Flirty means not crossing the line to vulgar. Keep it at a wink wink level.
  1. Use a popular reference –

Not saying you should throw down a quote. For example, if he is holding a martini glass say, “ Shaken or stirred?” Make sure the reference isn’t too obscure. There is nothing worse than backpedalling and explaining a joke.

  1. Be aware of some the pre-made openers-

If you do use one, look for one that asks a question. I would stay away from the ones that forces the guy to play a game. Such as a “two truths and a lie.” It feels like homework.

  1. Remember that you aren’t in high school –

Musical tastes, favorite movies, tv shows aren’t a deal breaker anymore. It can hit a brick wall when you mention a band and he hasn’t heard of them. Yes, people bond over certain tastes. Yet, if it’s not on his profile then assume he hasn’t seen it.

  1. Some of his prompts are helpful, some are not-

Bumble, like Hinge, has prompts on the profile. Unfortunately, most men don’t pick the ones that are conversation starters. Yet, if you are lucky there will be one that begs to be asked. If he has the right prompt then it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

Bottom Line….

Is Bumble the best App for dating? No. Women shouldn’t be going though all this trouble. As far as challenging yourself it’s good practice. It helps with flirting skills and getting creative with language. The main problem is you might have to do the opening line, then the follow up and so on. An opening line should simply be like saying hello to a guy at a party. If he doesn’t track you down later and continue the conversation then it’s pointless. Don’t stress too much over the opening line. If he thinks you are pretty and wants to talk to you anyway then that’s all that matters.